Remain righteously round, beautiful one

8 March 2021

“Querida Mayté in 2011,

I am sitting here, 10 years on and there are some things I feel you really need to know.

For so very long, you have felt out of touch and uncomfortable with your body. From a young age, you had no idea how to understand your rounded thighs and curvy hips.  Often, you felt sad and fat.  You somehow won a beauty contest with that big, brown butt.  Still, you’d look in the mirror and for years felt so displeased by the body that carried you around in this pretty amazing life.

Even after you’d been blessed with birthing a beautiful baby boy and people remarked two days after in amazement saying, “You were pregnant?”  You didn’t believe you were beautiful.

Soon after Danny’s birth, postpartum depression symptoms surfaced and medication was necessary for you to manage your life and family.  Oh, hunny.  How those drugs and depression packed on the pounds.  Then you really felt bad.  The things you did to try to lose weight…

Running, Zumba, strength training, Keto, Intermittent fasting, IIFYM and WW to name the ways to whittle down the weight.  None of these methods worked for you.  You met Kim, who listened empathetically and gave you tools to retrain how you looked at food.  You still struggled but you gained some perspective and a powerful ally in Kim and meal prepping.  Still searching for solace, you stumbled upon Intuitive Eating.  This was the anti-diet antidote you needed.  It prescribed following your hunger cues and made you the expert of your body.  Plagued with problems with your stomach, you had to revise what you were reverting to with food.  Slowly, you came to realize what you liked to eat and accepted that while you like dragon bowls, you also love donuts.  You ditched the scale.  On social media, you found a GODDESS who jiggled gloriously in her underwear and your heart was happy.  She became your shero and you started to see yourself in a different light.  You dared to dream.  You’d boldly sneak a peek at yourself in the mirror when you just came out of the shower and smile.  You let your husband plant kisses on your plentiful pouch of a belly and sigh. You found out that you had been misdiagnosed for bipolar depression and stopped taking that medication.  That lifted the veil of fog you had lived under for seven years.  You began to feel more alert while still maintaining your other meds.  You committed to moving your body in ways that pleased you, walking and dancing.  Your intention was to feel alive and grateful for another day, a day to love, create and heal.  You purchased $30 jeans at Maurice’s that fit your smaller waist and bigger bum and felt GLORIOUS!!!! You began to cook for yourself as if you had your own celebrity chef and became delighted with your daily intake of food. If you wanted that iced coffee from Dunkin’, you got it and enjoyed it, no guilt attached.  You stopped looking at how other people lost weight and approached it with Kim’s wisdom by “staying in your own lane.”  You would no longer judge others or yourself for what they were doing with their body.  Instead, you have goals.  Goals to fund your becoming an Intuitive Eating Lay Facilitator to help others on their journey to wholeness.  Meeting Megan Crabbe, okay, you’d probably pass out if you were in her presence, let’s say being in communication with her and joining your voice to her awesome Body Positive Power.  You would muster the courage to tell Megan that you can finally do what she advises, you are truly, madly, deeply in love with yourself.

If you could say anything to yourself 10 years ago, knowing what you know now, what would you say?

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